Why Children Must Bicker as They Play

As Teacher Tom writes in Medium Magazine, this is the gold standard of a play-based curriculum: creative, cooperative play. Reflecting on his own teaching experience he says, “As a teacher in a school that engages in no direct instruction, but rather bases its curriculum on the evidence of how children learn best, which is through their own self-directed play, I’m here to tell you that conflict stands at the center of how learning happens. Our entire school day is, for all intents and purposes, recess, and yes, much of what the children are doing while playing both indoors and out is bicker.”

Play will be an intrinsic part of the learning journey for the young people who attend The New School. Our Founder, Lucy Stephens, agreeing with Teacher Tom’s principles said, “Absolutely.  And absolutely one of the hardest things about parenting, let alone teaching! Perhaps this reframe from Teacher Tom helps us to see these arguments during play as developmental, normal learning, with amazing outcomes, rather than just an annoying part of caring for young children. When we’re on our game ourselves, it can feel a little like refereeing – stepping in, blocking a punch, acknowledging a few opinions and helping ideas to be voiced, backing off, watchful waiting, and then *possibly* relaxing into the relative calm of cooperation.”

Bickering is normal, developmental learning.